Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I never thought I would go public in this way with my story. I never thought I would share this with anyone other than my mother and closest friends, (even they don’t know every detail). I never thought I’d be a victim in an abusive relationship.
I’m not partial to that word, “victim.” Several years after the fact, I’m still not comfortable using it…owning it. I don’t feel like a victim, if anything I feel strong. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I never knew. No one talks about their experiences, it’s like we’re still hiding… we’re still victims.
There is a bit of a social fear I have about coming forward with it. When it happened during my junior year of high school I didn’t tell anyone. I was afraid. What would people think of me? Would they think I was lying? Or worse, would nothing change? Would anyone care? Many people who have been in physically or sexually abusive experiences don’t speak up about it. Personally, I felt ashamed. This is a silly thing to feel, but I couldn’t help it. What had I done? What will people think of me? Whose side will they take? Will the people I know treat me differently?
In no way am I asking for anyone’s pity or advice really. My friends and family have done an incredible job getting me through it. Every day I feel as if I’m a stronger person. I know now that there is no way that it was my fault. I shouldn’t feel worthless, and I certainly did not deserve any of it. I don’t feel like anyone understands me fully, but that’s ok, and I never expect that.
I’m sharing this because I want to reach someone, if you have or haven’t been through any sort of abuse, so that they can be aware. There are people out there suffering, and though they may look happy on the outside, you don’t know what goes on at home, or when no one is looking. Be kind. Be patient. You are not alone. If you’re sitting here reading this, you are not alone. You have me. If we don’t know each other, if you’re a stranger, if you’re someone I see every day, whoever, if you need to talk I’m here. You are never alone.